***the same old brand new me***

I’m a self-confessed bloggista, but since the Bar review…I find it hard putting my thoughts together. Things flew and happen so fast that gathering my thoughts about it seems difficult.

I just realized that my life went fast track.

Rewinding it made me think that in a year, I went from a law graduate…to Bar reviewee…to Bar candidate…to an underBar…to a GSIS employee…to a lawyer…to going back to CDO…and now, a prosecuting attorney. whew! That was fast.

I  think I became so OLD in a year,really!

Been around mature and grown up people lately…investigating criminals…dealing with other lawyers…attending court hearing…sometimes, I question myself if these people take me seriously…but at the end of the day, I realized that I am one of them– mature and grown up people.  am not anymore the lawstudent who worries if my allowance would be enough for the week, or asking money for tution fee. Not anymore,really.

But rest assured that I am still young…at least at heart!I should be, I’m still 27 and very much happy! =)

Everybody knows the Golf incident involving natives of Lanao del Sur, who happens to be goverment officials, and the de la Paz family. The Pangandamans filed a libel suit against Bambee based on her blog in Lanao del Sur. The provincial prosecutor (who happens to be my father) found probable cause and filed the case with the RTC. And the horror for me begins.
Here are some comments posted by visitors regarding the TEST CASE on a BLOG being a basis of a Libel case posed at http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=450187&publicationSubCategoryId=63

“Thank you for educating us about the MARANAOs. Napaka-uncivilized pala. They should be nuclear bombed so they won’t proliferte anymore.”

“is Marawi worse than GAZA Strip? or Afghanistan or Mogadishu?

no wonder!”

“This is a mayor of Lanao Sur! He is most likely a Maranao! And everyone who lives near Lanao Sur, (Iligan City, Cagayan De Oro) knows that Maranaos are an arrogant bunch. You go to Marawi City and you will see a very big difference in culture. Where anyone can carry a gun. Where if a non muslim gets into a trafic altercation with a Maranao, he is always the one at fault. If you are in Marawi and you get rear ended by a Maranao, it is your fault. Why? Because if you weren’t in front of him, then he wouldn’t have rear ended you! I kid you not folks. That is how it is there.”

“My advice to De La Paz, if you get a court order to go to Marawi to face these charges, NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER go there! The judges there can bend the rules of the law book. And once in their territory……….. ”

“Go to Marawi and the surrounding towns. You will see bad roads. Bad infrastructures. But the Mayors have big mansions. Some with tennis courts, some with satellite dish. And they always have the latest model SUV and pickups. If a “Christian” can be corrupt, a Maranao politician is far worse.”

****I AM LITERALLY OUTRAGED.
I AM SHOCKED WITH THE RESPONSE REGARDING MARANAOS.
WE ARE HUMAN. WE ARE FLAWED JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. WE ARE SINNERS, JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.
WE NEVER ADMIT TO BE PERFECT.
IF WE ARE BEING PORTRAYED LIKE SOME GODS, THEN DON’T BE TOO PERFECT FOR US.
I FEEL SICK TO MY STOMACH WITH THESE PEOPLE.
THESE ARE THE VERY REASONS WHY WE SOMETIMES ACT TO BE DEFENSIVE.

I always get discrimanations and stereotyping. I don’t mind people getting shocked when I speak Tagalog, or worst, English. I know that they are expecting some “sign language” like Tarzan living in the deep jungle. I don’t mind people staring at me…from head to foot…when I go to some place they don’t expect some “illiterates.” I don’t really mind people asking me how I am related to the Abu Sayaff or Eid Kabalu. I don’t totally mind when people see me like I’m carrying a detonated bomb.

I laughed when I encounter people like them. Deep inside me, I pity them.
Are we like aliens or ET? I don’t think so?!

For those still in the dark about Maranaos, you have the internet…do yourself a favor before speaking as if you are perfect…research about the Maranaos.

***IN A FEW WEEKS NOW, I MAY KNOW THE FRUITS OF HARD WORK AND PRAYERS, OF DESTINY AND FATE, AND ESPECIALLY OF FAITH. IN A FEW WEEKS, THE LIST OF BAR PASSERS WILL BE RELASED. ALLAH KNOWS WHAT MY FUTURE HOLDS FOR ME. IN THE END, I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT ALLAH HAS BETTER,IF NOT BEST, PLAN FOR ME.

I TRULY PRAY FOR THE BEST =)

BEAR WITH MY REPOST… I FIND THE WORDS TRULY FITTING FOR THE TIME BEING.

“Truly, the Bar Exam is a humbling experience. While the Civil Code provides that ignorance of the law excuses no one…the same doesn’t apply to bar examinees =) otherwise, all 6,533 examinees should and must pass =) just kidding…

Anyway, allow me now to say it all…to bare it all… for my peace of mind’s sake and to keep my sanity while waiting for the results.

The Bar Exam is a realization of one’s ignorance, self-limit and mortality. Yes, I thought I was prepared, but lo and behold! I was not. I thought I was smart, even intelligent enough…I was just like everybody. I thought the 6-month review will compensate my shortcomings in lawschool…it did not. I thought I could conquer it…I did but with reservations of passing it. But nonetheless, I am still hopeful that my Bedan education is not in vain.

If I was awed and fascinated with lawyers before, I have twice, even thrice, respect and regard to lawyers now. They are somehow immortals to me. Passing the Bar is utterly difficult. It is difficult.

I am now in bended-knees before Allah swt…in tears and with a praying hands to the heavens above that if He’ll not grant my prayers, I hope He’ll grant my father’s and my mother’s prayers… my husband’s…my family’s…and that of my friends’. I am only human, sinful but regretful; hopeless but hopeful. If I pass, Alhamdulillah. All the Glory and Praises to Allah. If not, surely I do not have a choice but to take it again and accept that He have better plans for me than I can dream for myself.

Acknowledgement:

After all the rumblings, I wish to say, with all sincerity, my heartfelt gratitude to everybody who rode my journey to La Salle.

The 2008 San Beda BarOPerations and Atty Delson. I must admit that we have the best bar operations in the country.

My Sororitas Reginae Juris sisses and LP Grace Tria. If I was a hardcore sis before, I am now a diehard sis. Sisterhood to its truest sense.

My bar buddies: Hasminah Paudac who ordered a tarpaulin and posted it to the halls of San Beda. Sis Jas Garcia, I can’t thank you enough for keeping up with me. Ron Decano, sobrang thank you sa lahat.

My hubby, Salahudden Usman, who made my review and the September easier forme; who never failed to inspire me every Sunday night when I cried of fears of failing it and until now when suddenly breakdown.

My daughter, Rania, who looked up to me with great admiration and inspiration…thank you for the encouraging letters; who always will believe I will top the Bar. I am praying I will not disappoint you.

To my Ome (mother-in-law) who always reminded me to say a prayer before i read the questionnaire and who fervently prays my success.

To my dadi and mami…Allahu Akbar! I could cry thinking of them as they stood and waited for me in La Salle. Ya Allah, please make them happy.

To everyone who cheered and believed in me… Atty Toie…AMAL family…Atty Bantao…Atty Aquil…my Microbes friends especially Atty Jade..my Cyphrs bestfriends…my cousins…SALAMAT is not enough to express my gratitude.

Now, while waiting…please don’t stop praying for me. Now and more than ever…I need your prayers. Your du’as will make it happen,Inshallah.

Again, thank you and wish me luck.”

Sometimes, I wonder if pushing your self too hard will make it happen?!?
At some point, I think it will…that is why I am so pushing myself to the limits.

I must admit that I never was this serious and focused about something. I am so diligent with my studies and schedules and all. I am not like this when I was in lawschool. It’s is so ironic, I know. But I think when you want something so much, you’ll do anything to get it. Well of course, always with Allah’s will and grace.

Officially, it’s SIXTY (60) days to go before the Bar. I feel numb for a second.
I am so waiting for this moment that I’ve imagine every step  I’ll take in entering La Salle. Yes, I am excited more than nervous. I can’t wait to write things I have learned and to wait  for "the  long wait" and  to see people I love to be happy and proud of me when the good news breaks. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not assuming or  predicting  the future, I am  just being positive about this thing .  The last thing I need  now is to believe  that I can’t do it. Because I know Allah will help me make my family happy, Inshallah.

Well… I have to go to do errands again..I mean I have to go back to my books where I rightfully belongs.

Include in your dua’s and prayers.
Allah bless!

Thank you,indeed, Allah!

Another semester is over, one more to go…

Inshallah, with Allah’s will, I’ll make my parents proud. I can wait to finish lawschool. I can’t wait to enroll for Pre-Bar review class. I can’t wait to enter La Salle and take the Bar. I can’t wait na talaga. Whatever Allah has planned for me, indeed, He is All-Knowing. To You, I humbly submit.

Ya Allah, continue to guide me as you have guided me all this years. Allah is Great!

Wish me all luck,my friends.

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

EVP : Sororitas Reginae Juris

4th year Batch Representative: San Beda Law Student Government

Senior lawstudent: San Beda Law

Member: Alliance of Muslim Advocates of Law (AMAL)

Mother of TWO

Wife

All these…. hmmm…. what am I thinking?!?!?!

To family it may concern:

WE HAVE DONE NO WRONG AGAINST YOU.

It is truly an eye opener for me to join the political arena. I left Manila with so much expectations of reunions and fun-filled family gatherings, believing so much that "blood is thicker than water." I know that elections are choices, everyone has its choice. But things are different here in Marawi. Things changed after May14. Gone are the glorious days that are fore fathers practiced, stories of their unwavering support for each other in any aspects are now mere stories of the past. We don’t need to elaborate details of what happen, bottomline is: YOU HAVE DISREGARDED THE BLOOD THAT RUNS TO YOUR VERY VEINS. What you don’t know is you made your revered family name a laughing stock.

    "SKANU A PISUSUPUTAN SA NAPAS NA MATA-MATAAN KA MAKAMURKA BU SU BANGSA."

    Have you ever wonder why your great governor didn’t make it back to power or your mayor-wannabe lost?

    Yes, you may say that I’m nothing but a sour graper daugther, but this letter is not intended for that. You see, this is not about us (my family) but the value you taught me. Respect, they say, is earned. In this case, you don’t deserve even an ounce of it.

    Is this the goal you wanted to achieve? Is this the value you wanted to teach us?

    My family’s defeat is truly heartbreaking (I admit that),not because of the fact of loss, but because YOU WERE PART OF IT. I will forever carry this wound, it will forever not heal. I pray to carry on without you, I don not pray for forgiveness.  Don’t worry, this is not a conscience letter because I know you don’t have any.

Samina Macabando-Usman
May 16, 2007

They say in every box of apples, there’s always a rotten one… consequence of which is too obvious– to make each and every apple rot.

I’m quite skeptical about blogging this one, I thought it’s in bad taste to attack your own family (well… I’m not talking about dad & mom & my sisters… I’m talking actually a clan for which I sadly belong). But on the second thought, I think they owe to me to speak the TRUTH.

For the past years, I have observed the hypocrisy and infectious jealousy that they have towards each other.  I (really) hate to say this but their actions is plain drama and full of crap. They act as if they care but the the TRUTH of the matter is… they care because it is beneficial to them. In short, they are all "users."

I’m not speaking because they "use" us, oh my NO!… I say this because at this point of the year where everybody needs someone to cling on for their political ambitions and frustrations as well… the hypocrisy and jealousy are in its highest level of disgust. If I’m asked what will make me not go home– this is it! I hate to see "my family" being torn apart before my very eyes….  sickening as it may sounds, but it is sordid to think that a three-year-term of political post is what makes them rot.

Lawschool drama for this school year is officially OVER! I had my last examination this afternoon and it was a relief to finish it all… I’m so wasted now…. brain-drain! Talk about information overload =) But my so-called no-more-classes-and-books-days doesn’t mean I get to enjoy… because the agony is still starting. I still need to worry about my readmission in Beda next school year. What the heck! Screw the agony… because this summer… I will have fun! I deserve it…. =)

Happy Summer Days everyone!